When Doubt and Faith Collide

 So I am laying in bed early this morning (4-5AM) and I begin to think. In the bible there is is a story of the disciple Peter in a boat during a storm and he sees Jesus walking on the water. Peter then calls out to him and says "Lord if its you bid me come." Jesus said to him "come". So he begins to take a few steps on the water but then looks around and begins to panic then sink. It ends with Jesus reaching out his and and grabbing Peter and asking why he doubted.
  Well I was thinking about that story and the times in peoples lives where they are at a crossroad in their lives. Maybe its a place of decision where they are not sure which way to go. Then after alot of thought, prayer, consideration or talking to people they figure out which way to go  or which road to take. Just before they begin to take the road they have chosen they ask for one more sign "Lord if its you bid me come" And they are certain they hear the word COME.  So alot of times in life when we make first make those decisions they are sure its the right way to go and we get part way down that road or couple months or even a year later we start to doubt ourselves. Was this really the right thing for me to do? Is this really the job I was supposed to Pick? Is this the spouse I am supposed to be with? And those doubts just creep in ever so slightly even though things might still be going ok. All of sudden in many cases I find that people over a period of time begin to doubt those decisions they have made. Its at this point I realize in my life I need to remember the steps I took or someone took before making the decision in the first place. I need to remember asking the question "Lord if its you Bid me come" and the people I talked to, the careful consideration I undertook. And most of all I need to Remember the answer that we heard "COME".
  Even those times I doubt the decisions I've made and begin to backtrack or doubt the reason I made them in the first place The Lord is there reaching saying "Oh yee of little faith, Why did you doubt?"
  I look at my friend dying in the hospital and events like that when the prayers doesnt look like its going to be answered the way I want can really make someone question their faith and beliefs. I think to myself this person has 3 young kids and I  cant for the life of me understand why the Lord doesnt heal her because in my heart of hearts I know he can. But then as I begin to maybe have questions (which are ok to have and doubts which are ok to have) I hear the voice saying COME. I am reminded of the verse that says. "His ways are higher then my ways, his thoughts are not my thoughts" meaning I m not meant to understand everything that happens in life. But what it all comes down to is this, Do I still believe? Do I still trust? Is the Bible still True, Is God still at work.? And When I examine myself the answer way down deep is an absolute YES. I have seen to much, experienced to much been changed to much to doubt now.  I remember in a course I was taking once someone asked a question about why we can't understand certain things about God meaning things that happen or don't happen etc. And The answer that was given has stuck with me to this day. "What kind of Go d would he be if I knew everything about him" So really when my Doubt begins to Overtake my Faith I remember "His ways are not my ways and his thoughts are higher then my thoughts". And finally I remember way back in my early teens and again in my mid 20s when I decided this is what I believe and I will believe it forever. I asked Jesus in my own words "Lord if this is you bid me come" And by now everyone knows the answer he gave me "COME".